Well friends, Reddit has done it.
Coffee kombucha is a thing, holy shit. It's like if a coffee plant and kombucha had a baby, and that baby was raised on a diet of cold brew and... yeast?
This stuff sounds potent, in more ways than one.
(Coincidentally, the first Google suggestions for both are “Are cronuts still a thing?” and “Is Ello still a thing?”)
I was wrong. I digress.
For those who don't know, or may have forgotten over the past 6 years, kombucha is a fermented tea that's packed with probiotics and has tons of health benefits.
And now people are going and making a coffee version of it.
Sounds like pretty good news for coffee lovers who also happen to be "probiotic lovers." (You don't hear that term as much, weirdly.)
Anyway, the resulting drink is slightly acidic and has a slightly tangy taste. It's also packed with probiotics, antioxidants, and other health-promoting compounds.
Plus, it has the energizing benefits of the coffee it's made with.
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It sounds like truly the best of both worlds—one world you definitely want to be in—coffee—and another world you're maybe a little iffy on at the present time.
Apparently, coffee kombucha is pretty easy to make at home. Since coffee is naturally acidic, it doesn't require as much "starter kombucha" to start the kombucha-making process. However, some people recommend not using coffee for the first fermentation for better results.
I suppose if I was looking for some kind of healthy probiotic-rich beverage that would also have a caffeine and antioxidant boost, I could give the recipe linked above a try. (It does say foolproof.)
Hey, I'm not saying that I'm going to start drinking coffee kombucha every day, but I'm definitely going to keep an open mind about it.
Who knows? Maybe in a few years we'll all be kicking back sipping on coffee kombuchas in our self-driving vehicles in Elon Musk's hyper-tunnel, and wondering how we ever lived without them.
Then again, I mean...
I mean, have you ever had kombucha? Yeah, it's pretty good and all. But coffee is coffee, you know? It's like, how are you supposed to improve on that?
Sure, it has caffeine and probiotics—but at what cost?
I guess it's too late now. We can't un-ring this bell. Coffee kombucha exists. I don't know how it happened. I don't know why it happened. All I know is that it is happening, and there's nothing we can do to stop it.
Are we really prepared to deal with the consequences of this drink? Only time will tell.
Or, I don't know, man. All I'm saying is maybe we should just keep enjoying coffee and kombucha on their own.